Yep, hard to believe huh? Me, Haywad, the Beast from the Middle East, Haywadizzle, Haystack, the Black Dragon(ok not the last one) has never been to a dance. Nor have I ever danced with girl before. But, that all changed today, all thanks to my Korean friend, Brian Jeon. Or as I like to to call him, Brian (his intials are BJ, like blowjob, lol)
Yesterday, I got a call from Brian, and my gay ass, bitch ass, Indian ass, gay ass, Indian ass friend, Sean. They said that I am coming to a dance with them tomorrow, and I was all like,"oh heck noes, I scared," but they were all like,"oh no, you going bruh." So then I was like,"ok whatever, I don't give a fuck, ima muthafuckin pussy killa."
And here's the twist: I did give a fuck, and I am not a pussy killa (whatever that means((actually, I do know what that means)))Yes, I did just put a parenthesis in another parenthesis.
Anyway, I was tripping all day today, considering that I didn't know how to dance, and I wouldn't know many people there. But, I just tried to put myself in a "I don't give a fuck because I will never see most of these people again" mindset. It didn't really work, like if Ricky Martin went to prison and tried to avoid getting butt raped, he is just too sexy.
The adventure begins with Reggie, Roberta, and Brian coming to pick me up at around 6pm (that fagshit Sean didn't go the dance, he was probably putting curry in his butthole, you know, cuz he's Indian and gay). It was hot as shit today, so I got to just wear my tight white T-shirt and look hella sexy with my muscles all showing and what not; don't worry, I put a nice velvet red dress shirt on before we went to the dance. Then, we picked up Megan, drove her to her house to get a dress because she didn't know it was a formal dance, and headed on out to Mission Valley Highschool aka Mission Valley Cumschool.
When we arrived I quickly discovered that I was out of place, seriously, about 97% of the kids were Asian. I was taller and bigger than most of the people there and that made me feel even more awkward and shy.
I felt a little better when I saw Anthony Cisneros (he's Mexican and Italian! isn't that awesome copter). So, we just stood around until they told us to go sit at one of the three long tables. At the end of our table was me, Brian, Megan, Roberta, Reggie, Anthony, and MIKE JONES! Who? MIKE JONES! The one and only you can't clone me, got a lot of haters and a lot of homies, some friends and some phonies, back then hoes didn't want me, now I'm hot hoes all on me. Yeah, so his name is Michael Jones, and he's really white.
We ate Chinese food, listened to some speeches, and drank some dranks (it was an event for a volunteer club). Then, the dance room started poppin and I knew it was time for me to make it or break it. And I broke it, I broke it like a polaroid picture. Basically, Me, Anthony and Mike Jones stood on the dance floor and did nothing. Megan was nice enough to try to dance with me, but I failed big time.
For the next hour and a half, I was either: standing outside the dance room talking to Anthony and feeling like a piece of crap, standing inside the dance room trying to talk to Anthony and feeling like a piece of shit, or even resorting to going outside and calling my cousin, Masude, which made me feel like the biggest loser faced turd eater ever. What made it even worse was that there was a douchebag gangsta Asian guy with two bitches outside too, watching me talk to my cousin about computers. Also, Mike Jones (Who?) was always around us, I didn't really talk to him, but he was always near, always queer (he's not actually gay, near and queer rhymed and I didn't know how to end the sentence, so yeah).
Here's a picture of me at the drink table like a loser:
Then, Brian came out of the dance room after dancing with Reggie for like 20 minutes straight and sat down with me and Anthony. Then, Roberta came and Brian told Roberta to dance with me, so we went in the dance room and she taught me how to dance. I was pretty nervous, but I got into it and it turned out to be fun, albeit a little tiring on my legs because I was still a tad sore (you know, because I work out and am cool).
Then, I danced a little with Reggie, then again with Roberta after the techno music, yay Sandstorm! I guess the DJ was good, I knew most of the songs. It was definitely not crackin though. At most, there were like 30 people actually dancing. Also, there was an extreme lack of...
DONK BOOTY So that was my first dance experience, thanks to all the people in my story for making it possible.
CowJo out. I put that when I don't know how to end a post in a funny way and just want to get done with it. Sorry for the un-creavity, I finished this in the afternoon, I'm usually much funnier at 3am.
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